Hummer
	• Hummer H2-It's No H1 Humvee • Hummer H3-Street vs. Off Road • Hummer H1 Alpha

Remember the Pontiac Fiero? Just when GM got the thing right, with a better engine and suspension system, production stopped in 1988. Remember the Allante? This pretty Cadillac ragtop finally got the Northstar engine it deserved in 1993, and GM immediately pulled the plug. Remember the Hummer H1? Just as GM puts a stronger and more sophisticated engine under the hood, they put the kibosh on the seminal off-roader.

We’re seeing a pattern.

 

Now, we don’t claim to understand the murkier reaches of GM product strategy, but it seems that every time a truly unique market opens up for the General, they respond with a half-hearted vehicle. They then – slowly, agonizingly – improve it until it’s the vehicle they should have introduced all along. At which point they yank the car from the market.

 

If there’s logic here, it’s eluding us.

 

But such is the fate of the Hummer H1. The big beast that put the brand on the map, that conquered the deepest deserts and the most garish celebrity culture with equal bombast, is finished. After 2006, GM will no longer sell the H1, relying on the smaller H2, H3 and forthcoming H4 to carry the torch. Too bad, ‘cuz the H1 was just getting good.

 

We suppose it was inevitable that the big bruiser would fade from its original glory. In its first major military campaign in Desert Storm, the AM General Humvee was lauded for its unstoppability, its adaptability to diverse conditions, and its general toughness. The troops loved it, despite the anemic 195 horsepower delivered from its 6.5 liter turbo diesel V8. The vehicles never got stuck, what with 430 pound-feet of torque running through all four wheels. But the Humvee was never what you’d call spry.

 

Shortly thereafter, GM started selling the civilian Hummer. If it was slow in the deserts of the Middle East, it was downright stupid on Main Street. Too wide to park in most spots, too tall to fit in most garages, it was a whale in a bathtub. Nevertheless, people were drawn to its macho-boy looks, even if they never got closer to going off road than the local elementary school playground. Hip-hop moguls and movie stars gave the Hummer the street cred it never deserved.

 

What it does deserve is off-the-street cred. Nothing short of a Bradley or an M1 Abrams tank can cross the nasty stuff like the original Hummer. With an independent suspension all around, traction control, variable pressure tire system and 16 inches of ground clearance, the Grand Canyon looks downright inviting in an H1. Yes, they’re tough to live with, have terrible ergonomics, are uncomfortable and have the efficiency of a cinder block. But when you have to get somewhere without the benefit of a trail – let alone a road – the H1 is a sure and safe conveyance.

Then came the H2. GM so enjoyed the notoriety of the H1’s celebrity status, they decided to create a smaller, less expensive version. It sold like hotcakes. “Wow, this is great!” they said. “Let’s do it again!” And along came the H3, even smaller. It’s selling like hotcakes, too. Unfortunately, that’s at the expense of the H1. Like baby spiders eating their parent, the lesser Hummers have cannibalized sales from their progenitor. Another killing blow is increasingly expensive fuel that the H1 chug-a-lugs to the tune of about 1 gallon for every 9 miles driven.

 

And now, the military has weighed in on the Hummer H1, and found it wanting. As the Iraq war crawls on, the Hummer has been the relentless target for roadside bombs and RPGs. To counter those tactics, new armor has been tacked on to the big beast, adding upwards of two tons of weight to an already slow and heavy vehicle. This is not a good move for increasing mobility in a hostile environment.

 

And GM’s response? For the H1 Alpha, the full-boat civilian version, they’ve yanked the old motor and replaced it with a much more powerful 6.6 liter turbo diesel, capable of 300 horsepower and a tugboat-like 520 pound-feet of torque. Finally, the top-dog Hummer has the grunt to get out of its own way and keep up with the Kias and Hyundais that regularly outrun it.

 

It’s too little, too late. The military version Humvee is on the chopping block, soon to be replaced by something a bit less vulnerable to modern guerilla warfare tactics. And as the H2 and H3 models continue to sell, the civilian H1 is finished as of this year.

If you’ve always wanted the ultimate off-road rambler – or on-road intimidator – the final-year H1 Alpha is the best of them. With its new engine, the truck is both more responsive to the throttle and more fuel efficient, if only by a couple miles per gallon. The interior is fitted with more comfortable and stylish amenities, and actually looks pretty damn cool – in a Mac Truck sort of way. For all its polish though, the H1 has lost none of its legendary cross-country capabilities. It’ll climb grades and ford rivers like nothing else, it’s virtually unstuckable, and it will carry you, three passengers and a load of gear to places that aren’t places yet.

 

Yes, it’s expensive at around $135,000. Perhaps its closest competitor is the Mercedes-Benz G500 – a much more civilized, luxurious and road-friendly SUV with serious off-road credentials as well. The G-Wagon starts at about $82,000 – easily undercutting the Alpha – and is a vastly superior everyday vehicle than the Hummer.

 

But the H1 Alpha is, finally, a Hummer. If you understand that, nothing else competes.

…if you want the last, best champion of American off-road trucks. It’s already a classic.

 

…if you want to enjoy daily driving. The competition has moved way beyond the H1.