BMW Z4 M Coupe
The Beauty Is Under The Skin... It ain’t pretty.
There, we said it.
The BMW Z4 Coupe looks like a promising design that’s had big divots scraped out
of its body by a giant ice cream scooper. It has a weird duck-butt rear end, and
a nose only a carp could love.
And yet…
And yet, you look at this thing. You see a chiseled tautness to the classic
long-hood-short-deck dimensions, a drum-skin musculature around the haunches that
sets the body low and snug over the wheels. It looks less like a car and more like
a tool, but a tool for driving. No, the bodywork around the M Coupe doesn’t make
you sigh with pleasure. It makes you want to get in and put it to work.
From Chick to Chuck
BMW has had image problems with their Z cars. When the Z3 came out it was almost
universally lauded for its design, a back-to-the-glory-days evocation of proper
roadster size and shape. Svelte, smooth, with nifty shark gills in the forward flanks
and a handsome waterfall nose. Dynamically, it was not a match for the Porsche Boxster
it was created to compete with, but it brought the purity of driving and the close-coupled
intimacy with the road that alfresco drivers love. Unfortunately, due to its pretty
face and its second-fiddle status to the Boxster, the Z3 Roadster became known as
a chick car – great for breezing along Mulholland Drive with your poodle, but not
the car of choice for serious drivers.
No way BMW was going to stand for that. They released their big design dogs, Chris
Bangle and Adrian van Hooydonk, on the Z3 successor. The hyper-modern, cut-crystal
result that is the Z4 won’t make you weep at its beauty, but Chuck Connors and his
Winchester .44 wouldn’t be embarrassed to be seen climbing into it.
Tight Lid
Take the top off any car, and you’re slicing away an entire hemisphere of structural
rigidity. The result is that most convertibles tend to twist and flex at the waist
as they move over bumps and undulations. The front end twists one way, the rear
end twists the other way. This is not behavior that endears convertibles to the
hardcore driver. For a suspension to do its best work, it needs a stable, rigid
platform to isolate its motions from the rest of the car. Hit a bump in most convertibles,
and you have a primary impact from the suspension, with a secondary impact running
through the chassis like an echo. It’s those unwanted body motions that BMW eliminated
by creating the Z4 Coupe. The car feels like a single piece of very tough metal.
You feel everything the suspension is doing down there, every grain of
sand in the road. But you only feel it once.
M. For More. Macho. Moxie
Ranged underneath the full length of the M Coupe’s long hood is BMW’s signature
inline six, an iron block, aluminum head design that’s been breathed on by the company’s
M Division hot rodders. The motor displaces 3.3 liters and, not coincidentally,
produces 330 bhp at a very Italian-like 7900 rpm. Max torque of 262 pound-feet arrives,
but not until 4900 rpm. That’s a long way for the engine to spin, but BMW straight
sixes make getting up there an awful lot of fun. There’s that trademark brassy BMW
whang as you tap forthrightly into the throttle, a brief, dry growl as
you notch the 6-speed ZF manual into the next gear, the engine pauses for breath
and then whang, you’re suddenly launched forward again. Keep this up, and
if you’re good at it 60 mph blows by in a bit under 5 seconds. That’s about a second
quicker than the standard Z4 Coupe, and it keeps going, on up to a governed 155
mph.
Bun Bruiser
Perhaps because of Porsche’s relentless onslaught of brilliant small sports cars,
BMW may have gone one step too far in the ride of the M Coupe. It’s a snarky, snarling
driver with terrific body control and ferret-like reflexes, but it’ll cost you in
the comfort department. “Flinty” is a word used to describe a too-tight suspension,
but this one goes beyond that into the realm of downright punishing. In everyday
driving of more than 30 minutes – there’s no other way to put this – your ass will
hurt. At the same time, in at-the-limit maneuvers, the car tends to understeer,
refusing to rotate in precise step with your steering commands. As a result, the
Z4 M doesn’t have the bone-deep handling chops that seem to be a foregone conclusion
with everything Porsche builds.
That said, the BMW will leave you with a bit more green in your wallet than the
German archrival. The Z4 M Coupe starts at exactly $50,000 – which is almost $10,000
less than a base Cayman S. The Cayman, at least to our eyes, is far and away the
nicer design. It also outhandles and outdrives the M Coupe. But is the difference
worth ten grand? As applied to more mainstream vehicles, we’d say no. But these
aren’t mainstream vehicles. Neither of these two are meant for casual commuting.
Both were created for one thing, and one thing only: hardcore driving. If that’s
your criteria for selection, the BMW – interesting, fun to drive and noteworthy
for its engineering – is still walking a few steps behind Porsche.
GET IT:
…if you want a wild looking weekend autocrosser that’s ten-large less than its nearest
competitor.
DON’T GET IT:
…if you want finesse along with your fury. You’ll get your $10,000-worth with the
Cayman S.
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